Let me just start out by saying I’ve been processing this word/concept for three months now and still don’t have an answer.
What is healthy ambition? Where is the line between selfish ambition and God ambition? What is the qualifier between what’s I do for ME and what I do for God?
In my heart of hearts, I want to do big things for God. I want to change people’s lives and make a difference in the world.
But there is this side of me (Sin, anyone?) that rears its’ ugly head when I ambitiously pursue goals.
Ultimately, I freeze because I can’t tell if I’m authentically pursuing something for God or for myself. So, I freeze. I stop. I don’t move forward.
This isn’t a healthy response, however.
I play basketball on Wednesdays and I want to win. I want other people to succeed and I personally want to succeed. However, when I miss 3 or more shots in a row (which I do a lot), I just stop shooting. I start thinking everyone thinks I’m playing just for myself.
But this post isn’t about failure; it’s about ambition.
The thing that stops me from shooting is that I seriously believe people will think I’m playing all for myself and that my goal in shooting isn’t for the team but for me!
I want to write books.
I want to blog more.
I want to speak to large crowds.
I want to reach 1000s of students for Christ.
I want to give away millions (yes millions) of dollars in life.
I want to start a missional coffeehouse that attracts the outcasts of society.
I want a beautiful, God-fearing, Jesus-following family.
I want to influence people, to help people develop a relationship with Jesus, and to change the pocket of the world God has put me in.
Being honest: I just can’t tell — most of the time — if I’m pursuing these things to glorify God or glorify myself.
No answers. No conclusions. Just pondering.
What is the difference between healthy ambition and selfish ambition?